I count my blessings every day for the amazing career I’m fortunate to have in the world of prostate cancer, male optimization, and holistic urology.
At this point, hard work, passion and some luck, I’m asked to give talks all over the world, writing my second book on prostate cancer and am faculty at one of the most prestigious institutions at NYU Langone Health.
But none of that matters if I don’t have a good relationship with my kids.
Before all else, I’m a father first.
Doing my best to be a dad and help my children become happy, successful and most important, good people is most important to me.
I enjoy spending time with them.
Even during crazy times with my two teenage daughters, for me, as long as I spend as much time with them as possible, it’s time well spent.
I want to help them navigate through the ebbs and flow of life, and that requires time together.
Naturally, Mia now 15 and Gianna 14, hormones flare and chaos happens. Not too often, thank God, but it happens.
For some time, I have observed patterns that lead to, perhaps, one of them saying the wrong thing to the other, or whatever – that leads to some madness at home.
The Rule of Three to Raising Teenage Daughters
One morning, during breakfast, I figured it all out (at least I think I did as parenting is an experiment and simply the hardest job).
I gathered the girls and said;
“Girls how you can prevent what’s been happening this past week between you is by having self-awareness.”
“Self-awareness about what dad?” One of them asks.
“Self-awareness about three things: PMS, Hunger, and Fatigue.”
“What do you mean, dad?” The other asked.
” Here’s the deal;
If you are one out of three, Talk less.
If you are two out of three, don’t talk at all.
If you are three out of three, leave the room.
Girls, if you apply this simple rule of three, forget about your life in this house between the two of you… your life outside in the world will be much easier for you. ”
This simple rule of three has been magical since inception nine months ago.
Now, when one of them is off they would say, ” sorry dad, I am two of three right now so I rather not talk.
The rule of three is part of our lexicon, and it serves as an anchor, so they catch themselves and prevent further unnecessary chaos.
Our boy is only seven, but the rules will not change for him when he becomes a teenager as he too will have hormonal changes. And of course, he will be hungry and tired at times.
I’ll let you know how that goes with Leo.
Let me know how this applies with your kids, dads.
Your welcome dad! 🙂
Happy Father’s Day!